The last bits left...

There's something about the ephemeral nature of a college apartment that prevents me from accepting it as a comfortable living space. others seem ready and willing to refer to it as home, but i can't toss it around as easily. i mean, how could it be when i just spent a purgatorial five hours increasing the time and distance between me and it? between me and my Home.

These past five years, Home has always been what i left behind. never did i pack it up and place it on my pre-planned, pre-positioned desk. i always kept it separate. confusion had to be avoided. nothing was ever good enough... to have that designation, have that aura, that fondness. and still, when the space that i have is padded and clean, when the conversations aren't awkward or forced, and when the lights that are on glow warm even when i close my eyes... i still refuse to fracture my Home and hold it with me, nested in the sheets.

I suppose i'll have to take it along eventually. to somewhere... at some time. i think i already know a good place. but first...

I've gotta get outta here.